Part of letting it go is time. It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s taken so much longer than I ever imagined it would. It’s like an onion!! And, there’s grief in there- letting go of the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ so we don’t carry around stale fragments can be more difficult than anyone can really put into words. We all have our own journeys, friends; and it look different for all of us! I believe we all have the answers within us, but it’s taken me a LONG time to learn trust those answers. For instance, I’ve heard things like “go out into the woods for 3 days by yourself” or “take the kids to Iowa for the summer” when I asked for guidance. These don’t seem like logical answers- that fit into our society’s ‘rules’ for living life!;) But they are answers that lie in my heart. I’ve also been led to work with different healers and energy medicine women that my bank account told me I couldn’t afford, yet I said YES because I knew it would be so helpful and deeply healing. It was. And, I’ve been miraculously provided for! So friends, listen without judgment. It takes courage to get curious. Do it, get curious & play! Let it be lighter! Trust that the answers lie within. (one single step at a time. It’s taken me more than 5 years -maybe 40, actually- to practice this and get to this place of clarity… finally!)
A great friend recommended this podcast regarding trusting your guts and honoring that voice within that I just listened to this week & it’s been so insightful!
And that one led me to the Unlocking Us Podcast with Brene Brown… whom I really love. The questions we ask, the wording we use, the way we ask the questions… that all matters. Significantly. So this one gets more into the science and goes deeper in different ways… (also, without knowing anything about Dr. Perry- other than this work and his playlist- I find him incredibly attractive!!!!)
We have to let ourselves be held by that safe container. Last week I referenced the sand sifter/toy… you know, with the mesh bottom that the sand falls through. That’s our container; first, we must have a container. What’s your container? Mine is Spirit. And family. Having a strong positive support system matters. When our internal world is safe and well cared for, we don’t need to control all of the external. My internal world was chaos… boundary-less, co-dependent, and scared.
I drove myself crazy trying to control my external world.
Until I turned inward- to focus more attention on my internal world. I let go of judgements and expectations and all of the “shoulds.” I pushed the outside away to create space for myself in the world. Brene says, or I heard, (in the above podcast) that Trauma and Neglect can leave very similar scars. This blew my mind. I had thought very differently of the two; and judged one worse than the other. The verdict is still out on just which scars I’m working with here… but I’m healing them!
Now, in order to build your foundation, you have to mostly empty that container. That kind of letting go tears us apart. It has to. It’s intense. But once we get down to those few remaining gems- life suddenly feels lighter. Empty sometimes, but mostly just lighter. Those few gems left behind can be moved around gently in order to lay your flooring. So what is your floor made of? What do you value most? What do you NEED? What are your non-negotiables? WHO are you? No really, who are you? What do you KNOW to be true? What cannot be taken from you? Those are the gems left behind and the material for your foundation. I’d love to hear more. Fill me in. Share. Lets build some rock solid foundations together!
Lots of love.
You have a new story to write. And it looks nothing like your past.
-My Danielle LaPorte Desire Map Planner