Letting go of Jello molds.

Oh friends, the Holiday season is upon us! Can you feel it? Can you smell it?! If I close my eyes, I can see the next two months play out- from my childhood perspective. So much has changed since then, and some things are still the same. And now, being so far from my extended family, we have created some small traditions that I look forward to as well. Different, and similar!

All of this got me thinking about how things change and how they stay the same. We all know that we stay with what we know because sometimes it really does work! And other times, we do it because it’s comfortable and it’s all we know. We also know that great change doesn’t happen within our comfort zone. Yet- being pushed to far beyond our comfort zones too quickly, can cause trauma! Ah, the fine lines!;) I like to think of it as more of a dance. Fluid, constant motion with turns and leaps, with traditional and newly made up moves. …I believe John Michael Montgomery sang that “life’s a dance you learn as you go.” This encouraged me to remember to keep dancing. When things aren’t working, sometimes we need to set them down, or let them be as we move along. We can’t carry all the things and stay light and fluid in our dance.

I was talking to my therapist this week about what I know it’s time to let go of and how I struggle with letting go of it still. And I know that nothing will change if nothing changes- meaning I have to be the catalyst and make the change if I want something to shift. It feels too scary though. I find myself dancing between holding on and letting go because in the past I have either held on far too long or let go far too quickly. I am attempting to make more mindful and intentional moves while sitting with all the feelings. I have heard that fear and excitement are the same thing- your body is going into a hyper-aware state as you prepare to take action. (Mel Robbins)

Fear is excitement without breath.

~Robert Heller.

Breathe into it. I have been in this state of preparing to change without following through for so long now and that it’s done terrible things to my nervous system!!! So, back to my therapists office and I now introduce: the Jello molds. (*Disclaimer*: I mean no offense to any lover of an actual Jello mold. You do you. And I appreciate the way people make things and pour their love into them and then share it with the people they love. I really do. This is purely metaphorical …(mostly!;).

My therapist somehow referenced this neon green mold her aunt makes. She said that the same radioactive looking mold is there every single year. And it looks gross, and she wouldn’t eat it because she’s vegan, and it wouldn’t nourish her, but having it there every year brings her comfort. Having those pillars, those things we can count on, those familiar bits, that’s what holds us steady when things around us are changing. And I believe those things really are important. Especially as we continue to navigate the changing of our world over they last few years, in particular! We need our pillars, and still, I believe it’s important to acknowledge them for what they are. Ideally, we get to decide when and how we address them, part with them, and refill their space with something different.

This metaphor helped me see this certain situation in a whole new way. It gave me the opportunity to see it for what it was, to acknowledge it, to honor it, and to lovingly replace it with something more fitting. We grow and change and evolve (if we’re lucky). Things in our lives, be they beliefs, thoughts, people, chairs, foods, etc., need taken out from time to time & replaced with other things (or even just love and space). It means no disrespect to the old things… they got us here. That Jello mold helped me feel safe during a very uncertain time. I am so grateful. And also, it’s time for change. I will thank the aunt for her contribution, and release the feeling of guilt for not eating it. I honor her and me.

You know the ones: Precontemplation, Contemplation, Preparation, Action, & Maintenance. I have learned to really recognize where I am at in the various stages of change. It matters. We can know that it’s time to make a change while also knowing that we’re not quite ready. And that’s ok. But let us recognize where were we are and choose compassion with ourselves so we don’t bask too long in denial! I just want to add this bit in there because it’s taken me years to let go of some of this stuff- and I’ve been consciously working on it! And if I would have been honest about the stage I was in, it would have really helped!! I knew I didn’t want the Jello mold long before I was ready to see it go. Compassion.

I’m curious, do you have jello molds in your life? Are you ready to look at them and see them for what they are? As we head into the holiday season, what traditions do you have that you love? What traditions have shifted over the years? What have you traded out or tried differently? I’ll share more about this in my next post, but here are a few of my new favorite recipes for side dishes, desserts, and pies! And, if Jello is your jam, I added the link to the recipe here!!!

I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving (if you celebrate) and nourish yourself deeply as we transition towards the winter months. I hope you fill and surround yourself with lots of love, grace, and peace. May you remember that you have everything you need within you and that the Universe is rooting for you!

Here’s your song for the week. A dear friend sent me this. I love it and hate it!;) But mostly I love it. So I’m sharing it! I know, I know… Trevor Hall again!;) I’m in a phase!

xoxo

xo