Lighter

Human warmth and openness will always be our only place of true safety. Be careful about hiding yourself away, because walls that are meant to be fortresses can quickly turn into prisons.

-unknown (to me, anyways)

I came across this quote I had written on a piece of paper- who knows how long ago! It stopped me right in my tracks. I cried. I’ve never been a person with very good boundaries when it comes to other people because I just love people so much! I’ve had to practice this skill of having boundaries in every area of my life. I’ve been practicing for years, learning more and more about boundaries and their importance every day! I realized the other day is that boundaries go both ways- around what we are letting in, and what we are giving out. Boundaries is also about leaning on our trusted people when we need to & accepting the love and support from our pillars of strength- whatever or whomever they may be. Boundaries are about giving and receiving.

So here we are, the seasons are changing, and I find myself digging deeper, only to let go deeper, and fill my cup up with Truth and with Love instead of fear and doubt. I love the above quote, about the trees teaching us about letting go. “Let it go” has been the slogan, it seems, for the last few years. It feels like everywhere I look is another “let it go” cup or sweatshirt or song or whatever- it’s so trendy! But actually- it’s really freaking hard to do (for me, anyhow)! And my first thought is to let go of certain people that bring me down, then I think of decluttering my house… but what I’m learning is that maybe- it starts in our minds and our beliefs.

When we are younger, we learn tools to cope with situations that happen. But as we grow older, we have a greater capacity to handle certain situations and we also learn new tools to help us cope. So it becomes very important that we realize which beliefs and patterns of behaviors we are carrying with us, and which ones we can let go of so that we can use the new tools we have acquired. We learn more about our boundaries and creating healthier ones.

Recently, I have been focused on putting down the weight of other people’s expectations of me. I’ve also been mindful to put down self-critism and over functioning to prove my value/worth. I didn’t even know I was doing this- until fairly recently. But simply watching myself react and then training myself to respond more mindfully has been a real game-changer! It’s not easy work, my friends- and it’s not particularly pretty either! But it’s so worth it. Another weight I’ve been carrying is thinking that I needed to do it all alone- so that no one else had to ‘carry’ my burdens with me. Becoming aware of this way of thinking/behaving has shifted everything in my closest relationships. After all, the foundation of healthy relationships is that people can show up authentically and be loved completely for exactly who they are- have support when they need it and lend support when needed.

So friends, what are you carrying? What can you (like the leaves) let go of this season? What support systems do you have in place? I’d love to hear!

And, if you’re interested, I’ve posted some of my favorite fall baking, yoga, and crafts on my Pinterest page (also in my newsletter, if you want to subscribe!)! And, here’s a song that’s been on repeat for me this week- thanks to my daughter!

EnJOY friends. Sending BIG hugs and love! I hope you feel all wrapped up in the coziest of blankets and held so tenderly!